it's 9:21 am. today marks 15 days since i have arrived in this wonderful city. i'm sipping coffee, listening to pandora, searching IKEA and Target for bed linen before i start on the job hunt, thinking to myself, Lord- i really want a job.
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things have been interesting, but so good the past 15 days. definitely not what i expected to happen.
-my roommates. met them online probably a month ago now. wonderful women who love Jesus. it is one of the best blessings that we click well together after meeting randomly online. the Lord worked it all out.
-my apartment = the BOMB. i'll get pictures up soon. such a God thing again. i am maybe a few blocks from Harvard. right in the middle of everything. buses and the train in walking distance. how we got such a huge place in such a prime location- only the Lord. please come stay with us.
-my car baby. now that i am up here, i certainly had no real need for her. transferring my title, registration and getting insurance costs more money that i want to spend on something i will hardly use. so last friday, took some photos, put it on craigslist. within hours, i had like 6 calls. saturday the calls kept coming in. guy comes at 4. doesn't want to test drive it or anything. said his car died and he needs something by monday. said i wanted it gone by tuesday so i didn't have to pay for another parking permit. gave me $1,300 cash. thought i'd maybe get $700 for it.
i've never had that much cash in my hand that was mine before in my life. good way to activate my new bank card. :) thanks Jesus.
-did my taxes. get alot more than i expected back- in just a few days. between taxes and selling my car, i'd have enough to pay rent for like 2 months without a job. praise Jesus. yes, please. still in shock. of course.
-church. found it randomly back in September. reunion boston. found out a CU grad went there in november when i was here and i visited. loved. it. went the sunday i came out, with my roommate. loved. it. getting involved in a small group next week. feeling so good that i can finally have a church home. probably the biggest blessing so far, even more than the money and roommates working out. so. excited.
-i am randomly meeting CU grads out here. had no idea. the Lord is opening doors for great friendships to form. it's pretty sweet.
-already involved with anti-trafficking work. got in touch with the not for sale MA director last time i was here. been in touch ever since. went to the new volunteer meeting last week. my first project is revamping the new volunteer presentation. hello prezi. i am so so so so so glad to be involved. so glad to be working with other abolitionists. just excited really.
-the job. i still don't have one. it's really hard. first, it was a huge worry because there was no money coming in at all, making it hard to pay rent and other such necessities. now, there is some money. big weight off. but. i like working. those who know me, know i do not do well relaxing or doing nothing. i need work. i feel like a slacker without a job. LOFT is not giving as many hours as i hoped. the starbucks interview didn't pan out right when i got out here, but i have an interview today for one in harvard square. i put in apps/resumes at a bunch of different retail stores. at big-kid-job nonprofits. it's hard to follow up on the big-kid-jobs when i don't know people at the company. just following up to an HR email.
i am just unsure of what to do about a job. just land a retail management position to have income and then network and start with the big-kid hunt again in a couple months. hold out for a big-kid position. sometimes i feel like i don't know what kind of big-kid-job i want. or i am not exactly qualified to have the position yet.
the patience in waiting for a job is probably the hardest. look how the LORD worked everything else out. why would i think He would just stop at the job part.
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pray for patience on the job front. open doors. perseverance in writing cover letters. to not be discouraged. excited for what the Lord is going to keep doing. definitely glad i took the leap of faith. now. check back in a couple months. but. really. loving it so far.
and it hasn't been too cold yet. dearJesus,pleasedon'tletitsnowandbesupercoldallthetime.justletitbespringalready.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
#bostonbound #adventure
"She said I think I'll go to Boston...I think I'll start a new life/I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind..."
'Boston' by Augustana. Great song.
Finally can say the words and mean it- I'm heading to BOSTON! on January 29th!!
first, let's get one thing straight for those of you who are assuming/wondering...I.am.NOT.moving.to.Boston.for.a.boy. if you want to know my reasoning, please ask me. i will gladly tell you. but that is all i have to say about that.
tis true, moving to boston in just a few short days. why, you might ask...just read below :)
i also feel like the past 2 years or so, the Lord has really challenged me and prepared me. that any bad situation that comes, i have either dealt with it in some way or can trust the Lord to work it out. i'll put a couple verses at the end that have been on my heart lately. there is probably more details to share and i'd love to share with anyone who wants to know.
all i can say is that i think fear would be the only thing keeping me here- fear of failure. but, confidence in the Lord- that He has a plan and purpose, that he has never let me fall, is making me go. the fact that i don't know certain things, just makes me trust the Lord more and have faith that He is going to work out the details. and you know, if this isn't where i'm supposed to be, then i know another door will open. if i fail, i can always move back. i just feel like if i don't take this chance now, i might never take it and i'll always wonder...
i know some might not agree with me. say it is a bad decision, irresponsible. one thing i have learned and i think the Lord has really helped me grow with- listening to other people's opinions. yes, i like advice and i value the opinions of those i ask, but sometimes, people just don't know my heart, can't fully see what the Lord is doing. i know the advice is because you care, but like with the reasoning for moving. i know in my heart, it is not for a boy- i know the Lord has changed and healed my heart and no matter how many times i can explain it, people still might not see. with this move, people will probably say i am crazy, but i feel this peace from the Lord, i see the open doors. mostly, i see this as an opportunity to really take a leap of faith and trust the Lord in a way i never really have before. i feel like the past year and a half has been leading up to this point and i am excited (and scared!) to trust the Lord with this adventure...
1 peter 5:10 (Amplified Bible version)
Psalms 103:4-5
1 John 4:18
'Boston' by Augustana. Great song.
Finally can say the words and mean it- I'm heading to BOSTON! on January 29th!!
first, let's get one thing straight for those of you who are assuming/wondering...I.am.NOT.moving.to.Boston.for.a.boy. if you want to know my reasoning, please ask me. i will gladly tell you. but that is all i have to say about that.
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Boston has been in the back of my mind as a possible place to live one day. it has my two favorites. the beach. and. the city. the boy i referenced up there moved to Boston almost a year ago now. i went to visit him in july.
july: loved the city. and the beach- not as good as FL or other places, but i'd definitely take it. i researched a couple human trafficking organizations and non-profits and was surprised to see there was an abundance in boston. it moved up on the list of places i wanted to move to.
august: while riding back to/from our first THUG bridal shower, i talked with jrm and srb about my trip to boston and how cool it would be to live there. they loved the idea and we talked about how we should live together and how great it would be. we decided to fast and pray for a little over a month, and then at the first THUG wedding, chat about how we felt about moving to boston in the summer (at this point i had school to finish, as well as srb-http://thecreativefight.blogspot.com/2011/08/new-adventure.html ). i was sure that during this time, i would see that moving to Boston wasn't going to happen/not a good option, and really thought the girls would not be on board anymore. BUT- i learned alot in that short month
july: loved the city. and the beach- not as good as FL or other places, but i'd definitely take it. i researched a couple human trafficking organizations and non-profits and was surprised to see there was an abundance in boston. it moved up on the list of places i wanted to move to.
august: while riding back to/from our first THUG bridal shower, i talked with jrm and srb about my trip to boston and how cool it would be to live there. they loved the idea and we talked about how we should live together and how great it would be. we decided to fast and pray for a little over a month, and then at the first THUG wedding, chat about how we felt about moving to boston in the summer (at this point i had school to finish, as well as srb-http://thecreativefight.blogspot.com/2011/08/new-adventure.html ). i was sure that during this time, i would see that moving to Boston wasn't going to happen/not a good option, and really thought the girls would not be on board anymore. BUT- i learned alot in that short month
september: read THIS- http://thecreativefight.blogspot.com/2011/09/month-without-non-christian-music.html) we decided to visit Boston in November and just check things out. i decided to start looking at jobs, maybe apply for a few and see if i could get any interviews when we visited.
november: met with 2 great women from to stellar anti-human trafficking organizations. was so encouraged after the last meeting that i was ready to pick up and move. so many great opportunities to do what i have wanted to do with human trafficking- advocacy work, event planning-- being surrounded by other passionate abolitionists. i feel more in love with the city. and i also found a few organizations that work directly with teen girls. One of the women i met with said that if i had something, a job, to get me out to boston, to go with that and then network and get a job when i get out there. sounded good to me. anyone who knows me knows i am passionate about fighting human trafficking and empowering young women, so boston was looking even better...
boston list: beach, city, lots of anti-trafficking orgs/opportunitites, orgs that help empower women, church i found randomly- love it.
end of november/december: i mainly focused on work and school. worked 2 jobs and happened to finish school, my astronomy class in 2 weeks!!!, by december 31- way to ring in the new year. i had been praying expectantly about boston and what to do once i had school under my belt.
january: i tried to relax. those who know me, know i am horrible at that. i started applying for boston jobs again. i was able to find alot that i am qualified for and that i want. my hope was to get a job by the end of january and be out there. i am not working at target anymore, which means i have one job, which means that in a week or two i would have to find another part time job- for how long? i'd be applying for jobs out in boston and working 2 jobs here. so, the beginning of last week, i had a thought- why not just move to boston, work the 2 part time jobs and then apply/interview for jobs- that'd be alot easier...
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november: met with 2 great women from to stellar anti-human trafficking organizations. was so encouraged after the last meeting that i was ready to pick up and move. so many great opportunities to do what i have wanted to do with human trafficking- advocacy work, event planning-- being surrounded by other passionate abolitionists. i feel more in love with the city. and i also found a few organizations that work directly with teen girls. One of the women i met with said that if i had something, a job, to get me out to boston, to go with that and then network and get a job when i get out there. sounded good to me. anyone who knows me knows i am passionate about fighting human trafficking and empowering young women, so boston was looking even better...
boston list: beach, city, lots of anti-trafficking orgs/opportunitites, orgs that help empower women, church i found randomly- love it.
end of november/december: i mainly focused on work and school. worked 2 jobs and happened to finish school, my astronomy class in 2 weeks!!!, by december 31- way to ring in the new year. i had been praying expectantly about boston and what to do once i had school under my belt.
january: i tried to relax. those who know me, know i am horrible at that. i started applying for boston jobs again. i was able to find alot that i am qualified for and that i want. my hope was to get a job by the end of january and be out there. i am not working at target anymore, which means i have one job, which means that in a week or two i would have to find another part time job- for how long? i'd be applying for jobs out in boston and working 2 jobs here. so, the beginning of last week, i had a thought- why not just move to boston, work the 2 part time jobs and then apply/interview for jobs- that'd be alot easier...
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i am a planner. i didn't want to go out there until i had a job set. roommate/apartment set. everything. i like to be in control.(usually, my plans are not what the Lord has planned...) i thought i was crazy for thinking about just picking up and moving. I had a few talks with friends throughout the week, just mentioned my thought, didn't say i was actually going to do it- didn't think i would do it. they all listened to my reasoning and said, 'it could be the best thing you ever do'- because my ending thought was, i'm nervous and scared and it could be horrible....so i prayed. expectantly as i had been. i think in the back of my head, i figured that i wouldn't be in boston. like the Lord had somewhere else for me and that i just hadn't seen it yet; i wanted to be really open to other places.
my bestie jrm came last weekend. i told her my thoughts. she gave me hers. i decided i should probably do it. but it wasn't official in my head until i told my mom. i told her sunday. i gave my two weeks at LOFT in the afternoon. decided to head out the 29th.
my bestie jrm came last weekend. i told her my thoughts. she gave me hers. i decided i should probably do it. but it wasn't official in my head until i told my mom. i told her sunday. i gave my two weeks at LOFT in the afternoon. decided to head out the 29th.
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that might seem sudden. the decision of when to go, yes, maybe. but i have been thinking about it for a while. see, if you read the other posts (i know i write alot!), you would find that i am restless, feeling stuck here in indiana. i know that i don't want a job here- it took me a while to realize that it is okay to want to go somewhere else- to want something different. i need a fast paced, city environment. i crave the opportunity to be in a place surrounded by other abolitionist, advocating, event planning, sharing about human trafficking. so many opportunities in boston. i crave the opportunity to invest in young women- empower them. opportunities in boston. i ache for a change of pace, for adventure. i already feel like this past year of doing school has made me loose my motivation- just a feeling of being stuck. that is not me. i am driven, a go-getter. i need challenges. i feel like i can't get it here.
that might seem sudden. the decision of when to go, yes, maybe. but i have been thinking about it for a while. see, if you read the other posts (i know i write alot!), you would find that i am restless, feeling stuck here in indiana. i know that i don't want a job here- it took me a while to realize that it is okay to want to go somewhere else- to want something different. i need a fast paced, city environment. i crave the opportunity to be in a place surrounded by other abolitionist, advocating, event planning, sharing about human trafficking. so many opportunities in boston. i crave the opportunity to invest in young women- empower them. opportunities in boston. i ache for a change of pace, for adventure. i already feel like this past year of doing school has made me loose my motivation- just a feeling of being stuck. that is not me. i am driven, a go-getter. i need challenges. i feel like i can't get it here.
this is something i feel like i need to do for me. i feel like the Lord has opened alot of doors, he has allowed me to make some good connections in Boston too.
no, i don't have a job 'secured.' but i am going to work at LOFT part time- and i got 2 calls yesterday for interviews when i get out there- starbucks (benefits at part-time even!) and a part-time big kid job. i am still putting out resumes, still praying expectantly.
no, i don't have a place to live. and i haven't met my potential roomies. my bestie in cali has a friend who is part of a church plant who is looking for someone to live with by the beginning of feb. and i met a girl on a christian web board who is moving there next week and needs a roommate. open doors. i have a good friend i can crash with from Cedarville for a bit if that all fails.
no, i don't have furniture for an apartment. and, no, i don't have loads of money saved up in case i don't find a job. i probably should wait and save more. but i literally could save forever. that means a second job. for how long. just to go out to boston and do the same thing? i am confident in the way the Lord created me and gifted me and i think/am having faith that the Lord will provide the part time jobs i need to survive out there. or the full-time big kid job...
no, i don't have a job 'secured.' but i am going to work at LOFT part time- and i got 2 calls yesterday for interviews when i get out there- starbucks (benefits at part-time even!) and a part-time big kid job. i am still putting out resumes, still praying expectantly.
no, i don't have a place to live. and i haven't met my potential roomies. my bestie in cali has a friend who is part of a church plant who is looking for someone to live with by the beginning of feb. and i met a girl on a christian web board who is moving there next week and needs a roommate. open doors. i have a good friend i can crash with from Cedarville for a bit if that all fails.
no, i don't have furniture for an apartment. and, no, i don't have loads of money saved up in case i don't find a job. i probably should wait and save more. but i literally could save forever. that means a second job. for how long. just to go out to boston and do the same thing? i am confident in the way the Lord created me and gifted me and i think/am having faith that the Lord will provide the part time jobs i need to survive out there. or the full-time big kid job...
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yes, i'm nervous. really scared. probably hasn't all sunk in yet. still thinking about money. and jobs. and everything else.
but when i play it all out in my head, it makes sense to me. even if i have to end up working 2 jobs to make my rent, if i can be a part of raising awareness on human trafficking or volunteering one day a week to empower a few young women, it is WELL WORTH IT. i feel like i can't convey how much my heart aches and longs for that other than to say that i cry when i think i can have the opportunity. that this past year or so of having very very limited opportunity to do it has made me feel like a part of me is missing...
yes, i'm nervous. really scared. probably hasn't all sunk in yet. still thinking about money. and jobs. and everything else.
but when i play it all out in my head, it makes sense to me. even if i have to end up working 2 jobs to make my rent, if i can be a part of raising awareness on human trafficking or volunteering one day a week to empower a few young women, it is WELL WORTH IT. i feel like i can't convey how much my heart aches and longs for that other than to say that i cry when i think i can have the opportunity. that this past year or so of having very very limited opportunity to do it has made me feel like a part of me is missing...
i also feel like the past 2 years or so, the Lord has really challenged me and prepared me. that any bad situation that comes, i have either dealt with it in some way or can trust the Lord to work it out. i'll put a couple verses at the end that have been on my heart lately. there is probably more details to share and i'd love to share with anyone who wants to know.
all i can say is that i think fear would be the only thing keeping me here- fear of failure. but, confidence in the Lord- that He has a plan and purpose, that he has never let me fall, is making me go. the fact that i don't know certain things, just makes me trust the Lord more and have faith that He is going to work out the details. and you know, if this isn't where i'm supposed to be, then i know another door will open. if i fail, i can always move back. i just feel like if i don't take this chance now, i might never take it and i'll always wonder...
i know some might not agree with me. say it is a bad decision, irresponsible. one thing i have learned and i think the Lord has really helped me grow with- listening to other people's opinions. yes, i like advice and i value the opinions of those i ask, but sometimes, people just don't know my heart, can't fully see what the Lord is doing. i know the advice is because you care, but like with the reasoning for moving. i know in my heart, it is not for a boy- i know the Lord has changed and healed my heart and no matter how many times i can explain it, people still might not see. with this move, people will probably say i am crazy, but i feel this peace from the Lord, i see the open doors. mostly, i see this as an opportunity to really take a leap of faith and trust the Lord in a way i never really have before. i feel like the past year and a half has been leading up to this point and i am excited (and scared!) to trust the Lord with this adventure...
stay tuned.
1 peter 5:10 (Amplified Bible version)
Psalms 103:4-5
1 John 4:18
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Super Woman
"and even Wonder Woman gets her nails (hair) done..." i was excited to put this as my first line in this post because I thought he said hair instead of nails. i've had to reschedule my hair appointment 4 times in the past 2 weeks. so busy. this song plays at LOFT all the time and i hate it. but it reminds me of myself in that I am always crazy busy and because my old roomie Caitlin Hull used to call me Super Woman- because i always did so much. i miss her.
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i'm unsettled. it's been a year and a half of feeling unsettled. life did not turn out the way i hoped after graduating almost 2 May's ago. it's been a year and half of working at least 2 jobs, deferring or forebearing loans, trying to figure out how to pay for my last few (pointless) classes and what to do with my life once i have a degree. i've felt stuck for the past year and a half. it's been a season of rowing.
see. life did not work out the way i wanted it too. after i 'graduated' i had sweet internship opportunities. i was supposed to finish the classes in the summer. i was ready to change the world. then life happened and things changed. the Lord had a different plan. i got a tattoo on my left wrist in 2009 that says 'made perfect in weakness' from 2 cor. 12:9-10. i got it on my wrist to serve as a constant reminder because i found this verse at a really really low point and it was like the Lord was saying- "Jen- give it up to me and let me make it better." i can't count the number of times in the past year and a half i have been forced to realize i need to just become weak and let the Lord work in me during this time. it's hard because i don't especially like this season of life. i feel like it is lasting forever and for once, i just don't know exactly when it will end or what to do when it ends.
i feel like the Lord taught me a lot during my Christian music fast about prayer http://thecreativefight.blogspot.com/2011/09/month-without-non-christian-music.html. had alot of encouragement from psalm 103. emery- inside our skin talked about being refined by the fire and this providence- my beautiful rescue. for the first time i really realized that the Lord has purpose for this time, as hard as it is.
i am at a point right now of feeling excited, nervous and scared. while the whole season i am in might not be over, school will indeed be over by mid-january (i WILL make it happen) and then i will be...free. i feel like the biggest burden of the past year and half will be lifted and i will finally have a degree (hopefully i will finish by jan 15 and get a dec. 2011 diploma). i've been itching to get out of indy for quite some time now. i the past couple months i realized i really want: 1. to have a job where i can work to empower teen girls. 2. work/volunteer with anti-trafficking organizations and do policy work. 3. live in a big big city. 4. go on an adventure and take a chance. i've been playing it safe and responsible for so long that i am just ready to do something new! this means that by mid-jan/early feb. i will hopefully be moving. which also means i need to figure out where to go.
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ideal choice: boston. love love love the city. had some great info meetings with anti-trafficking organizations and i am so excited about the potential to be involved in abolitionist work there. also, there are alot of organizations that work to empower young women. and already found 2 churches i like. only issue would be that it will be expensive unless i find a couple roommates. i am considering just transferring to LOFT out there and then trying to find a job...
choice i feel like might happen: moving out to columbus, oh. love the city and lots of friends are there. there is some abolitionist work going on that i could be a part of and i already have some connections there. it might be easier to find a job. i wouldn't mind this option, but i feel like i'd be playing it safe.
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praying expectantly is hard. a couple months ago, during the fast, i did an awesome Bible study on God's abundance and provision. "when i conclude my prayer with: 'God do this or something better.' while my request might have been good, i want to always leave room for god to do beyond my expectations." (Priscilla Shirer) i started doing this. i felt like for the first time, it was okay to pray for big things. [[in the past, i always felt like i shouldn't pray for certain things to happen because it might not be what God wanted, like He would do the opposite of what i hoped. like praying for opportunity in boston, but me thinking i'll be stuck in indy forever.]] i guess after that study, i just realized i should be open to adventure and where God is leading. and to pray expectantly. i'm not wanting to go to boston, just to go, there are specific reasons related to the way i feel like God wired me. what i see as something great in boston, might be, but adding that 'God, do this or something better' is like saying, boston would be ideal, but if you have something even better than what i think would be the best- bring it on!!
i still worry a little bit though.
i'm fearful. fearful of what the 'something better' might be, that i won't like it. which is crazy- it will be something better than what i think is best! i'm fearful of finances. fearful of potentially just picking up and moving. as weird as it may sound, fearful of what life will be like when i don't have school- it's been hanging over my head for so long, that i am not sure what life will be like without it- i'm thinking awesome. but- i just remembered this verse the other day- "such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. if we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love -1 john 4:18." you could say i am afraid of 'punishment,' of the Lord putting me in a place that i don't want to be in- being in this season longer.
it is crazy when we are fed lies and when we believe them. just a couple months ago, all fear was gone. i was confident in the Lord and in his plans. life and chaos get in the way and confidence in the Lord turns into confidence in the flesh and i start to get to the point where the Lord says, 'jen- remember that verse on your wrist..." and i say-right, Lord's got this. just trust. "true abundance is really seen when you're sitting in a prison circumstance, when you're eye to eye with an impossible situation, and right in the heart of your impossible, you experience the fullness of God."- Priscilla. holla. TRUTH- 2 cor. 12:9-10
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hopefully that flowed. it is usually a jumble of thoughts in my head that i try to form into sentences and paragraphs. so, tomorrow starts 2 weeks until I have finals. i also start my final class- astronomy. i’m fasting or breaking from a few things that just take up too much of my time- trying to simplify and focus on school and the Lord. also, going to start applying for some jobs, prayingexpectantly about things. maybe i’ll end up working for IJM in D.C. who knows. just giving life up to the Lord- ready to see what He will teach in the next month or so. going to try and not stress or worry. lots of journaling and running, baking and maybe painting….
Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
a month without non-christian music
i went a month with listening to only Christian music. it was rough. i love music. all kinds. i'd rather answer the question of what kind of music i don't like as opposed to my favorite (acoustic-indie...old school Ella...). techno is probably one of the only types i cannot stand, maybe irish music as well. Christian music can sometimes be added to the category. i love me some Gospel and there are a few Christian bands that i like- EMERY and THRICE. but for the most part, i can't stand the fluffy, pop-y mainstream Christian music that all sounds the same. i need good music, but most importantly, solid, legit lyrics, i.e. emery and thrice.
i started this fast a week or so before i left my big kid job. just stressed about life and feeling like i needed to be listening to 'positive and encouraging (k-love)' music. the first week was killer. i wore out my emery and thrice cd's (yes, cd's) and began to love mumford and sons (who are technically not a christian band, but such positive and encouraging lyrics). i had every intention of doing the fast for a week, but on the 1 week mark, i was driving home from pittsburg with my thuggies and we chatted about moving to boston.
we were all three excited about it. it is really crazy how the conversations went, how it felt like the Lord was in it all. we all decided to legit fast from something until we met again (this weekend) and then chat about if we felt the Lord speaking about moving to boston. also, we wanted to fast to hear the Lord speak in general. we were/are all three going through interesting times in life and we just wanted to hear the Lord.
what i learned from 1 1/2 months without non-christian music (except for what played during work):
-learned more about trusting the Lord. started doing a Bible study and it talked all about how the Lord provides. how he works in the midst of suffering (all suffering he can use for good!). trusting him with the hard things- with things i want to handle on my own. praying more- about everything.
- boston. i finding lots of different organizations i want to work for/volunteer for. randomly found 2 churches that look pretty legit. found schools with great MSW programs and public admin programs- Harvard has a human trafficking and modern day slavery program within their public admin degree- is that perfect for me or what?!
-moving away. i was so hesitant to actually pray about moving to boston (or any other place for that matter) because i always wanted to make sure that the Lord didn't have something for me in Indiana- like maybe I should pray for opportunities here instead, or maybe i should really just stay and it's foolish to want to leave. BUT. i feel like he has showed me more about how he made me/wired me. he put such a HUGE desire in my heart to do anti-trafficking work and Psalm 103 says that the Lord will fulfill my desires with good things (which helps me be confident in this 'waiting' period as i am finishing school- finishing something in order to get someplace else...) i feel like he also wired me in such a way to love the city, to be in a fast paced environment, etc. even if boston is not the place, a city like it is where i feel like i should be. not that indiana isn't great- i just don't know if it is the place for me. not to say that the Lord doesn't have a sweet job here- i think i also am understanding that the Lord can use me anywhere and just to be open to being used by him. but i feel like boston could be a good place for me.
- girls inc.. i started co-facilitating a program called 'redefining beauty.' best part of my week. another realization that i want to work with teen girls doing this kind of stuff, doing outreach. or do human trafficking policy type work. the cool thing- if girls have positive role models who can invest in them and teach them the importance for having a high self-esteem and showing them that they can do big things, they will be less likely to fall prey the schemes of pimps and traffickers. prevention work. boom.
- finances. it's tough. working on a second job. bath and body works perhaps. :) money has always been the hardest thing to trust the Lord with. my buddy made me a budget- gotta love the math nerds. i'm attempting to follow it- save some money. plan a bit. i feel like this is good preparation if boston is to work out. it is expensive to live there- i will be doing a lot of trusting the Lord with finances. good time to practice now. :)
-music. i listened to some joshua radin last night on my drive home. some snow patrol, swell seasons and ryan adams. oh how i missed it. but, i listened to christian music every time i got in the car today. i want to listen to it actually. crazy little turn of events.
-90 challenge. started this 90 challenge with my church- i'm reading through the new testament in 90 days. it has been so great. and i can listen in the car on my iphone. the guy who reads the bible has this cra cra british accent. it felt like i was watching a movie or something when i listened to Acts. so dramatic.
the past month has been so good. i feel like i see how good it is the more i talk about it. the Lord is doing some crazy cool things. hopefully visiting boston in november with the bestie thuggies .
ps. i'm also making jewelry again these days. check out my etsy and buy something: http://www.etsy.com/shop/laurenj117
Got to see these beauties the weekend :) happy wedding weekend.
i started this fast a week or so before i left my big kid job. just stressed about life and feeling like i needed to be listening to 'positive and encouraging (k-love)' music. the first week was killer. i wore out my emery and thrice cd's (yes, cd's) and began to love mumford and sons (who are technically not a christian band, but such positive and encouraging lyrics). i had every intention of doing the fast for a week, but on the 1 week mark, i was driving home from pittsburg with my thuggies and we chatted about moving to boston.
we were all three excited about it. it is really crazy how the conversations went, how it felt like the Lord was in it all. we all decided to legit fast from something until we met again (this weekend) and then chat about if we felt the Lord speaking about moving to boston. also, we wanted to fast to hear the Lord speak in general. we were/are all three going through interesting times in life and we just wanted to hear the Lord.
what i learned from 1 1/2 months without non-christian music (except for what played during work):
-learned more about trusting the Lord. started doing a Bible study and it talked all about how the Lord provides. how he works in the midst of suffering (all suffering he can use for good!). trusting him with the hard things- with things i want to handle on my own. praying more- about everything.
- boston. i finding lots of different organizations i want to work for/volunteer for. randomly found 2 churches that look pretty legit. found schools with great MSW programs and public admin programs- Harvard has a human trafficking and modern day slavery program within their public admin degree- is that perfect for me or what?!
-moving away. i was so hesitant to actually pray about moving to boston (or any other place for that matter) because i always wanted to make sure that the Lord didn't have something for me in Indiana- like maybe I should pray for opportunities here instead, or maybe i should really just stay and it's foolish to want to leave. BUT. i feel like he has showed me more about how he made me/wired me. he put such a HUGE desire in my heart to do anti-trafficking work and Psalm 103 says that the Lord will fulfill my desires with good things (which helps me be confident in this 'waiting' period as i am finishing school- finishing something in order to get someplace else...) i feel like he also wired me in such a way to love the city, to be in a fast paced environment, etc. even if boston is not the place, a city like it is where i feel like i should be. not that indiana isn't great- i just don't know if it is the place for me. not to say that the Lord doesn't have a sweet job here- i think i also am understanding that the Lord can use me anywhere and just to be open to being used by him. but i feel like boston could be a good place for me.
- girls inc.. i started co-facilitating a program called 'redefining beauty.' best part of my week. another realization that i want to work with teen girls doing this kind of stuff, doing outreach. or do human trafficking policy type work. the cool thing- if girls have positive role models who can invest in them and teach them the importance for having a high self-esteem and showing them that they can do big things, they will be less likely to fall prey the schemes of pimps and traffickers. prevention work. boom.
- finances. it's tough. working on a second job. bath and body works perhaps. :) money has always been the hardest thing to trust the Lord with. my buddy made me a budget- gotta love the math nerds. i'm attempting to follow it- save some money. plan a bit. i feel like this is good preparation if boston is to work out. it is expensive to live there- i will be doing a lot of trusting the Lord with finances. good time to practice now. :)
-music. i listened to some joshua radin last night on my drive home. some snow patrol, swell seasons and ryan adams. oh how i missed it. but, i listened to christian music every time i got in the car today. i want to listen to it actually. crazy little turn of events.
-90 challenge. started this 90 challenge with my church- i'm reading through the new testament in 90 days. it has been so great. and i can listen in the car on my iphone. the guy who reads the bible has this cra cra british accent. it felt like i was watching a movie or something when i listened to Acts. so dramatic.
the past month has been so good. i feel like i see how good it is the more i talk about it. the Lord is doing some crazy cool things. hopefully visiting boston in november with the bestie thuggies .
ps. i'm also making jewelry again these days. check out my etsy and buy something: http://www.etsy.com/shop/laurenj117
Got to see these beauties the weekend :) happy wedding weekend.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
new adventure
(make sure you read 'roll away your stone' first. or you will be lost.)
i had my first class at ball state today. definitely drove around for 20 minutes trying to first read my map the correct way and figure out where i was. then i tried to figure out where to park. luckily, i got to class on time. oh, how i miss being on a college campus...hah.
what the Lord teaching.
to me, a plan to quit a big kid paying job, enroll in school full-time, defer loans, pay less on a credit card that with the big kid job, i can have paid off in a few months, and work only...1 job...part-time, sounds like crazy talk. i decided all this saturday and then went to church sunday where i realized...this past year has been full of MY attempts work finish school and pay off loans, etc. i know this new crazy plans is the Lords and i feel like he is saying, jen- you've been trying it on your own for a year and it hasn't worked. i know my plan sounds crazy and it is not anything like what you would choose or even want to do, but just try it out and see how i work it all out.
ok Lord.
and then sweet things started happening. just like the Lord would do.
i registered too late for my online classes and had to have Cedarville sign something. did not think it would get processed in time to take the classes-- got processed a day before it should have and was able to register. thought i would have to pay everything upfront- which turned out to be almost $200 more than i expected and had.-- was able to work out a payment plan. thought i would have to order my books online from the university bookstore- $200 bucks.-- was able to order them from amazon for $40 WITH expedited shipping!!
there were some changes in management at my LOFT store so instead of working at my store which was 5 minutes away, i was being transferred to a store in carmel- 30 minutes away. found out that my dear girl- another sales lead got a big kid teaching job and was stepping down- i'm back at my store.
haven't been able to defer the loans because they are being consolidated, but pretty sure that is going to work out too. it's been a hard but great time of learning to trust the Lord and also to see how he works things out.
i've been thinking about the future and where to go after i have my degree- in DECEMBER! holla. i'm just restless, ready for something new and big. thinking of moving to boston with some besties. thinking about grad schools- Harvard please. thinking about AmeriCorp for a year. all kinds of ideas, away from indiana. i know once i am done with school, it will open so many doors to do something that i am passionate about. i just feel like school is holding me back from doing so many things. ready to be done. ready for a new adventure.
also been reading in the Word more. checking out Job- learning more about suffering. just learning that the Lord uses everything for good, even bad things. been listening to Christian music lately. i'll be honest- it is so hard. i dislike so much of the pop-y christian fluffy music. but, lecrae and emery are helping me through. and technically, they are not 'christian', but mumford and sons is legit and solid. can't get enough of them.
so, new adventure for the next 5 months. lots of rowing will be happening. i'll get rocking biceps. i don't know if i can say i am excited, per say. i'm longing to be done with school and i am going to bust it out. i'm really ready to see how the Lord will work and eager to learn new things....i'm sure this new adventure will produce many a new blog posts.
until then, check out the best songs ever right below... :)
peace.
............
mumford and sons: stars hide your fires/these are my desire/and i will give them up to YOU this time around... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O-BwV0DDUY
emery: i'll be happier when i've give up/wisdom, light my way into the dark/your words, the melody that carries me/we can't make a change until we know who we are/fire refining me...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yYFwMB5_h4
i had my first class at ball state today. definitely drove around for 20 minutes trying to first read my map the correct way and figure out where i was. then i tried to figure out where to park. luckily, i got to class on time. oh, how i miss being on a college campus...hah.
what the Lord teaching.
to me, a plan to quit a big kid paying job, enroll in school full-time, defer loans, pay less on a credit card that with the big kid job, i can have paid off in a few months, and work only...1 job...part-time, sounds like crazy talk. i decided all this saturday and then went to church sunday where i realized...this past year has been full of MY attempts work finish school and pay off loans, etc. i know this new crazy plans is the Lords and i feel like he is saying, jen- you've been trying it on your own for a year and it hasn't worked. i know my plan sounds crazy and it is not anything like what you would choose or even want to do, but just try it out and see how i work it all out.
ok Lord.
and then sweet things started happening. just like the Lord would do.
i registered too late for my online classes and had to have Cedarville sign something. did not think it would get processed in time to take the classes-- got processed a day before it should have and was able to register. thought i would have to pay everything upfront- which turned out to be almost $200 more than i expected and had.-- was able to work out a payment plan. thought i would have to order my books online from the university bookstore- $200 bucks.-- was able to order them from amazon for $40 WITH expedited shipping!!
there were some changes in management at my LOFT store so instead of working at my store which was 5 minutes away, i was being transferred to a store in carmel- 30 minutes away. found out that my dear girl- another sales lead got a big kid teaching job and was stepping down- i'm back at my store.
haven't been able to defer the loans because they are being consolidated, but pretty sure that is going to work out too. it's been a hard but great time of learning to trust the Lord and also to see how he works things out.
i've been thinking about the future and where to go after i have my degree- in DECEMBER! holla. i'm just restless, ready for something new and big. thinking of moving to boston with some besties. thinking about grad schools- Harvard please. thinking about AmeriCorp for a year. all kinds of ideas, away from indiana. i know once i am done with school, it will open so many doors to do something that i am passionate about. i just feel like school is holding me back from doing so many things. ready to be done. ready for a new adventure.
also been reading in the Word more. checking out Job- learning more about suffering. just learning that the Lord uses everything for good, even bad things. been listening to Christian music lately. i'll be honest- it is so hard. i dislike so much of the pop-y christian fluffy music. but, lecrae and emery are helping me through. and technically, they are not 'christian', but mumford and sons is legit and solid. can't get enough of them.
so, new adventure for the next 5 months. lots of rowing will be happening. i'll get rocking biceps. i don't know if i can say i am excited, per say. i'm longing to be done with school and i am going to bust it out. i'm really ready to see how the Lord will work and eager to learn new things....i'm sure this new adventure will produce many a new blog posts.
until then, check out the best songs ever right below... :)
peace.
............
mumford and sons: stars hide your fires/these are my desire/and i will give them up to YOU this time around... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O-BwV0DDUY
emery: i'll be happier when i've give up/wisdom, light my way into the dark/your words, the melody that carries me/we can't make a change until we know who we are/fire refining me...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yYFwMB5_h4
roll away your stone, i'll roll away mine.
i'm sitting in my bed listening to mumford and sons (love them) and looking at Harvard's public policy Master's program- they have a human trafficking and modern day slavery program. i think i want to go there... :)
it's been an interesting few weeks, an interesting year actually. i've again slacked on the blogging, but such is life. it has been really busy. for those that don't know, i started a new adventure today. i quit my job at CGI and had my last day friday. i'm back to working part time at LOFT. and i will be a full-time student this semester, FINALLY finishing up my undergrad. holla. it's a big change, and a hard one.
it all started about a year ago around this time when MY plans for finishing up my last few classes for my undergrad fell through and i decided to take matters into my own hands. this past year consisted of trying things on my own, holding multiple jobs, basically, trying to be superwoman, only to find out that whatever powers i had in college that allowed me to do a million things at one time and still survive, apparently vanished as i drove away from cedarville. in the midst of the craziness, i was able to finish on class this spring and MY plan after getting my first big kid job was to pay for classes as i went, one.at.a.time. for those of you i talk to on a regular basis- you know that i hate that i have school to finish, that i want to be done so badly, and that i have considered quitting on multiple occasions.
so, fast to a few weeks ago. i was stressed at work already. but add to that driving every tuesday/thursday to muncie (45 minutes away) for class, a 2-3 hour volunteer session each week, AND a few nights at LOFT just so i could save to pay for my classes, which now have to be finished by MAY 2012. i knew i could barely do it- remember, the powers had disappeared.
had a bit of a freakout moment 2 saturdays ago. my mom said my rent's would help me pay for one of my classes. we talked through it and figured i had enough to pay for 2 up front and could afford monthly payments on my ball state class by working part time at LOFT. i just needed to leave the big kid job and defer the loans.
so, long story short, i did just that. gave my notice. said i'd take my position back at LOFT. almost paid for the 2 classes and registered. had my first ball state class today. :)
the Lord is CRAZY. really crazy. in the past year He has been working all on my heart. and since i feel like this blog post is getting lengthly- check out the newest one for how he is working.
it's been an interesting few weeks, an interesting year actually. i've again slacked on the blogging, but such is life. it has been really busy. for those that don't know, i started a new adventure today. i quit my job at CGI and had my last day friday. i'm back to working part time at LOFT. and i will be a full-time student this semester, FINALLY finishing up my undergrad. holla. it's a big change, and a hard one.
it all started about a year ago around this time when MY plans for finishing up my last few classes for my undergrad fell through and i decided to take matters into my own hands. this past year consisted of trying things on my own, holding multiple jobs, basically, trying to be superwoman, only to find out that whatever powers i had in college that allowed me to do a million things at one time and still survive, apparently vanished as i drove away from cedarville. in the midst of the craziness, i was able to finish on class this spring and MY plan after getting my first big kid job was to pay for classes as i went, one.at.a.time. for those of you i talk to on a regular basis- you know that i hate that i have school to finish, that i want to be done so badly, and that i have considered quitting on multiple occasions.
so, fast to a few weeks ago. i was stressed at work already. but add to that driving every tuesday/thursday to muncie (45 minutes away) for class, a 2-3 hour volunteer session each week, AND a few nights at LOFT just so i could save to pay for my classes, which now have to be finished by MAY 2012. i knew i could barely do it- remember, the powers had disappeared.
had a bit of a freakout moment 2 saturdays ago. my mom said my rent's would help me pay for one of my classes. we talked through it and figured i had enough to pay for 2 up front and could afford monthly payments on my ball state class by working part time at LOFT. i just needed to leave the big kid job and defer the loans.
so, long story short, i did just that. gave my notice. said i'd take my position back at LOFT. almost paid for the 2 classes and registered. had my first ball state class today. :)
the Lord is CRAZY. really crazy. in the past year He has been working all on my heart. and since i feel like this blog post is getting lengthly- check out the newest one for how he is working.
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